The Truth Behind… Online Dating

Ahhhhh I’m EXCITED!  I have been working on this blog for weeks and I’m so happy that today’s the day that it finally comes out.  So, what is this blog that I am so excited about…

Online dating has been increasing in popularity for a while now, especially for people my age.  Now with COVID happening, online dating is becoming a more common way to meet people. 

So naturally, I wanted to investigate.  And I did just that.  I asked five different people about their experience using online dating apps like Bumble and Tinder.  Are they really an effective way to get into a relationship?  Are they just for fun?  What do people look for in a profile?  Do people from dating apps ever actually meet in person?  I got all of these answers, plus more.

I know, I know, you’re dying to hear all the secrets behind online dating, and I won’t make you wait any longer.  Here we go!

The Truth Behind Online Dating

Okay, like I said, I asked 10 different questions to 5 different college aged people about online dating.  I’m going to keep it anonymous, but I asked a mix of guys and girls.  Some people I talked to are in relationships, some are not.  Some were on dating apps for months while others were on for weeks.  As you can tell, I got A LOT of different perspectives on this one.  For this blog, I’m going to go through each of the questions and give you the 5 different answers that I got. To tell who is who, I split up each person’s answers to each question with a color.  For example, on all the questions, person 1 will be blue.  Each question will also have an “Ashlyn’s Take” where I will wrap up and give my thoughts.  Yayyy I’m excited lets go!  Also, shout out to everyone who helped me with this, you know who you are 🙂  You all had such great answers.

Question 1: What online platforms have you used?

Person 1: Tinder and Bumble

Person 2: Tinder and Bumble

Person 3: Bumble

Person 4: Tinder 

Person 5: Tinder and Bumble but I preferred Tinder

Ashlyn’s Take: So, out of these 5 people, it seems like there isn’t one app that’s more popular than the other.  It’s a pretty even split between Bumble and Tinder. It’s all about preference

Question 2: How long were you on (the platforms) for?

1: 1 week 

2: On and off for about a year

3: About 2 weeks

4: About a year

5: Almost about a year.  I was about to delete it and then I met my boyfriend

Ashlyn’s Take: There was a lot of differences here.  Some people only used the app for a couple of weeks, while others used it for a year.  I am not surprised that there was a lot of difference here because everyone moves at different speeds.

Question 3: How often do you use it/check it?

1: Twice a day if that 

2: Every few days because you get notifications when people message you

3: I would get notifications throughout the day.  So the first few days I checked here and there

4: At night when I was bored

5: When I first got it, not super often because of classes and sports. Once Corona hit, I went on it more because I thought it was a good way to meet people

Ashlyn’s Take: These answers were pretty similar as expected.  Bumble and Tinder are similar to other forms of social media, so most people check them a little bit every day, like we do with other social media platforms like Instagram and Twitter.  It also makes sense that once you get more matches, you don’t swipe through profiles as much because you get notifications when people message you.

Question 4: Why did you download the app/what did you want to get out of it?

1: I was bored and for me, it was similar to social media and gave me something to do

2: My friend has just met her boyfriend on Bumble so we made one together for me because I wanted to try it out

3: I had been through a breakup, so my friends wanted me to make a Bumble.  When we made it, I wasn’t really looking for a relationship.  I made it to get better at talking to guys again and wanted to get my foot back in the door 

4: I made a lot of friends through it, but before getting it, it was mostly peer pressure from my friends because they all had it

5: I got them kinda as a joke for fun.  I was looking for entertainment value and I definitely was not on it for hookups.  A lot of people are though which is okay. For me, I just wanted to try something new and from what my friends told me, they had a lot of fun with it

Ashlyn’s Take: So clearly, there are a lot of reasons why people go on dating apps. Some people are just bored and want something to do. Some are looking for relationships. Some are looking for friends. I guess that’s good news though, because no matter why you are going on a dating app, there are mostly likely people on there who are looking for the same thing. Just make sure to be honest about what you are looking for!

Question #5: Did you ever meet in person with anyone you talked to on the app?  If yes, how many people?

1: Yes, 1 person

2: Probably 5 tops but most of them were just 1 time

3: 1 person, that I am now dating

4: A lot of people.  Probably around 15

5: I would say 4.  The first 3 we went on first dates but I didn’t really see it going anywhere. 

Ashlyn’s Take: So, seems like a lot of people actually meet in person with the people they are talking to. Honestly, I thought that it was a bit surprising that so many people met in person with people from the dating apps.  Some said that it can be a little bit awkward meeting someone for the first time after only talking to them through texting or Snapchat which makes a lot of sense.  This does go to show that a lot of relationships formed on the app don’t end at just talking.  Some of them go further than that. 

Question #6: If yes to the previous question, did you ever hang out with anyone more than 1 time? 

1: Yes.  I went on a couple of dates

2: 2 people

3: Yes

4: Yes multiple times.  I probably went out more than once with 10 out of the 15

5: The only one was my boyfriend now

Ashlyn’s Take: So everyone hung out with at least 1 of the people that they met on a dating app.  2 of the 5 are dating people who they met on dating apps.  If you’re planning on going on a dating app, it seems as though most likely, you will meet at least 1 person in person.  

Question #7: What do you look for in a profile?  What do you think makes a good profile? 

1: Someone who is attractive.  I also see if they are interested in similar stuff as me. 

2: I don’t like boating or fishing pictures (love the honesty).  I also don’t really like long bios or when they try to be too funny.  I like pictures that they didn’t personally take.  

3: I looked for someone with similar interests as me, similar values if that was out in the open.  Most similarities came from age, school and music.  Also, someone who is attractive, well dressed and takes care of themselves.  Someone who gives off a good first impression.

4: If you don’t have a bio, I don’t really look because I like reading bios.

5: Someone that is completely honest with themselves.  My boyfriend said he was funny sometimes.  Real photos.  A lot of them are flexing, on vacation, meeting famous people.  Anyone I could see myself chilling with.  I didn’t need an extensive bio, but I did like there to be one. 

Ashlyn’s Take: First of all, I LOVE the honesty in these answers.  Everyone has a different preference, but one similarity among these answers is that people like to see people who are into similar stuff as they are.  Also, people who have a variety of pictures on their profile.  I’ve heard a lot of girls say that they don’t like seeing fishing pictures of guys, or pictures of them flexing at the gym which I think is so funny, but very common.  So guys, maybe hold off adding that picture holding the bass or flexing at the gym.

Question #8: Do you think that dating apps are an effective way to meet a partner?

1: Usually not really, but in some cases yes

2: Yes.  One of my friends has.  On Bumble, you can specify exactly what you are looking for.  I like Bumble better than Tinder because of that. 

3: Yes, from experience

4: Yes I do

5: I think so, especially right now, there’s no real social places that are open to meet people. You can just use them to meet new people.  You just have to be careful. My parents had their worries about being on apps like this because people aren’t always how they seem  

Ashlyn’s Take: Most people that I talked to said that dating apps were an effective way to meet a partner which I thought was very surprising.  I honestly thought that most people were going to say no.  I think this has a lot to do with the time that we are living through right now.  It is harder than ever to meet people in person, so a lot more people have starting using dating apps as a way to meet people.  

Question #9: What is your ideal way to meet someone?

1: At a wedding or at a social event because you have mutual friends who already know them  

2: Out in public like at the mall.  I would rather meet someone naturally because it is kind of awkward just texting all the time and then meeting in person

3: Honestly, it wouldn’t be online.  I wasn’t expecting a relationship out of this.  Ideally, I would like to meet someone in person and not happen by chance.  But today, it is hard to do that

4: I would want to walk into Dunkin Donuts, spill my coffee on someone and say “omg I’m so sorry, do you want to go on a date?”

5: Honestly, I don’t really know.  I met my last boyfriend through a mutual friend and my new boyfriend online.  There are always places to meet someone.  I’m very go with the flow which is why an app like that worked for me 

Ashlyn’s Take: It’s funny because even though most people said that dating apps can be an effective way to meet a partner, no one said that it was their “ideal” way to meet someone.  People would rather meet in public or at a social event.  I have always said that I would love to meet someone in a public setting too.  But like I said before, it’s really hard to do right now because of COVID and meeting people through apps is so much easier.  

Question #10: Do you recommend a dating app and do you have any tips for someone who is thinking about going on a dating app?

1: Yes for fun, for serious relationships, no

2: I definitely recommend Bumble, not so much Tinder.  Be yourself and don’t catfish people.  It never works.  Don’t take things too personally because people can be rude.  Don’t take it to heart 

3: It depends on your intentions.  I would recommend certain apps for certain situations.  If you’re looking for hookups, Tinder is probably better, Bumble is a little bit different because the girl has the power.  It’s also better for friends or for relationships.  Bumble is a little bit “safer” and more “pg,” so I would recommend Bumble over Tinder

4: It depends on who you are as a person.  It is a weird concept to talk to someone on Snapchat or text and then finally meet in person.  If you meet someone, make sure meet in a public place

5: I recommend them even if you’re not sure if you want to date.  It’s a good way to get out there and see what you like.  It was good for trial and error and seeing what I really want in a relationship.  I was on there for a while but it is definitely worth a try.  Be yourself on there.  I had put a funny movie quote on mine and my boyfriend caught that.  Present yourself as who you are.  At first I always thought “was my profile was good enough,” but it is as long as you show who you are.  And be careful.  I definitely kissed a few frogs before I met my boyfriend.  So be aware that who you meet may not be who you think.  When I went on my first date, a lot of people had my location to make sure I was good

Ashlyn’s Take: Some people liked Bumble better, while some liked Tinder better. And the big advice, to know surprise, BE YOURSELF!  Another good piece of advice is not taking things too seriously.  I can imagine that it can be really hard to get to know someone online, so if things don’t work out, don’t stress it!  There are plenty of fish in the sea. Another important piece of advice that a lot of people brought up was being safe when you meet someone in person and make sure that friends and family know where you are.

There you have it! All you need to know about online dating. To be honest, I learned a lot from all the people that I talked to for this blog, and I hope you did too. This blog has been a work in progress for a while now and I had so much fun making it. I was thinking about making this the first blog of a series called “The Truth” where I’ll talk about what a lot of people may not know about certain topics. Is that something you would like to read? I hope you enjoyed! Until next time…

Signed,

Ashlyn

p.s. this blog was so much fun and I would love to do more on “hot topics” like this one!